I liked the idea of LJ as a place to store ideas, not mine you understand, ideas stolen from other people. Currently I am sitting on a train travelling to gloucester to meet up with Anna so to enjoy a weekend holiday. In a book I have just read a passage that needed to be stored, usefully thanks to modern tech I can do just that.
All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, abosrbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jaged little pieces beyond repair.
This passage touched me, I think because I feel that it is true. I love my children very much and I hope that I never damage them out of ignorance.
Being a parent is hard someone really should write a hand book.
My eldest child, Tom, is 5 and starting school. He has developed a fine and strong personality. I worry about my relationship with him, as a parent there are things I know that need to be done; he has to get dessed in good time in the morning, he has to eat food he does not like. How does one cause a child to do these things when they do not actually want to? The simple answer is either coaxing or violence. Now be assured I do not meen physical violence, I am refering to domination, violence at a mental level. I suppose I sway between these two extremes explaining, coaxing, demanding and so forth. Finding a balance is difficult finding a solution impossible. It was not so very long ago that Thomas would do as I asked simply because I asked it, I know that times will get harder as he gets older and finds himself. I can only hope that the relationship I have with him is strong enough to allow us to deal with the teenage years *shudder*. He is a beautiful person and I hope that my smudges do not change that.
So that passage touches me, it expresses my fears. It will be interesting one day to look back on this entry and see exactly how I did.
2 thoughts on “A word for parents”
Well, you know, Scott – we think you have done (and are doing) a fine job with your children. They are a credit to you. You know what you were saying about us borrowing them…might just have to take you up on that!
The bit I have done so far seems to be the easy bit. With babies mostly being a good parent is just about being nice to them. As the children grow up doing the right thing seems to be more complex.